Finding Purpose in Life’s Detours: A Conversation with Elizabeth Smart
Imagine growing up in a safe neighborhood, with a loving family, and a stable, predictable life. Then, with no warning, that world is shattered. For Elizabeth Smart, a normal childhood was abruptly stolen at age 14 when she was kidnapped from her bedroom. The world saw the headlines, but for Elizabeth, it was a reality. Healing from trauma didn’t end with the rescue; it was just beginning.
In a recent episode of the Beliefcast, Elizabeth opened up about the unseen journey of survival, the struggle to reclaim her identity, and her powerful new book, Detours. Her story is proof that even when life forces us off our expected path, we still have the power to choose where we go next.
Finding Your Way Back Home
Before her abduction, Elizabeth describes living in a “bubble”, a happy, innocent life where safety, food, and water were all taken for granted. When that bubble burst, she was thrust into a nightmare where every choice was stripped away.
For nine months, Elizabeth endured unthinkable suffering at the hands of her captors. Taken at just 14 years old, she was forced into silence, stripped of her autonomy, and subjected to relentless fear. Despite the darkness that engulfed her, Elizabeth held onto a glimmer of hope, believing, “If I could survive today, maybe my family would find me tomorrow.”
Yet, amidst the horror, she discovered a reservoir of inner strength she didn’t know she possessed. “We’re all a lot stronger than we think we are,” Elizabeth shared. She believes that people often underestimate their ability to endure the unimaginable.
The Journey to Healing
After her rescue, Elizabeth fell into a cycle of rumination where shame and self-loathing sneak in. She described feeling “broken” and “worthless,” emotions that are all too common in trauma recovery. “Trauma can be incredibly isolating,” Elizabeth explains, “when we get into this cycle of self-rumination, that is a loss of life, because we are not valuing ourselves.”
Finding Strength in Connection
Grandpa Smart became a pivotal figure in Elizabeth’s healing from trauma because he saw her capability to deal with hard things. He encouraged her to do tasks that were difficult, from challenging her to saddle her own horse to encouraging her to get back out into nature.
He aided her trauma recovery by reminding her that she wasn’t damaged goods. “He didn’t treat me like I was broken,” she recalled. “I wanted to show him that I never gave up.” That belief helped her reconnect with herself and rebuild trust in her own strength.
Navigating Life’s Detours
Life rarely follows a straight line. Overcoming trauma, whether it’s a major life-altering trauma, a divorce, or an unexpected career loss, we all face moments that take us off our planned path. Elizabeth’s new book, Detours, was written for anyone feeling lost or stuck at these crossroads. “This book is meant to be a friend and a voice of encouragement,” Elizabeth says. She then outlines “rest stops” that help navigate difficult times:
Rest Stop 1: Grieve the Lost Path
It is vital to allow yourself to mourn the life you thought you’d have. Elizabeth noted that when her parents divorced years later, she had to grieve the loss of the family dynamic she cherished. There is no shame in grieving what you lost; it’s a necessary step in moving forward.
Rest Stop 2: Recognize How You’ve Changed
Trauma changes us, but that isn’t always negative. Give yourself grace as you get to know the new version of yourself. You aren’t the same person you were before or during the detour, and that is okay.
Rest Stop 3: Resist Isolation
When we are hurting, often our instinct is to withdraw. Elizabeth urges us to do the opposite: pursue connection fearlessly. Healing from trauma happens in community, not in solitude.
Rest Stop 4: Reflect on New Destinations
Finally, take inventory of the joys, big and small, that come your way. You may be on a road you never intended to travel, but that doesn’t mean it won’t bring you to a beautiful destination.
The Power of Believing Survivors
Today, Elizabeth has turned her pain into purpose through advocacy. Her aim is to help other survivors reclaim their power and to shift the culture around sexual violence. Through the Elizabeth Smart Foundation and programs like Smart Defense, she is fighting to ensure that women and girls have the tools they need to protect themselves.
A core part of her message is the importance of believing survivors. She points out that false reports are statistically rare, yet the fear of not being believed silences countless victims. “I would rather be wrong and be kind and be understanding than disbelieve survivors,” she stated. That initial reaction of belief can set the tone for a survivor’s journey toward overcoming trauma.
Finding Where the Light Enters
Elizabeth quotes the poet Rumi, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” She reflects, “Do I feel like my wound was where the light entered, where my purpose came into being? Absolutely.”
For Elizabeth, and for all of us, our deepest wounds can become the source of our greatest light. It is in our moments of struggle and pain that we have the opportunity to grow, learn, and ultimately heal. Survivors of trauma may feel broken, but they are also incredibly resilient.
Overcoming trauma is a difficult path, but it is possible, and it is a path that we are capable of taking. Reach out today to find support in your own trauma recovery and discover what you can achieve.
Listen to Elizabeth’s full story here.
